After months of wedding planning — the venue walkthroughs, the menu tastings, the seating chart revisions — the rehearsal dinner is one of the first moments where it all starts to feel real. You’re surrounded by the people who matter most, and the wedding is so close you can feel it.
It’s a special night that deserves to be planned that way. Here’s what to think about as you start putting your rehearsal dinner together.
Who’s On the Guest List?
Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner guest list includes the wedding party and their plus-ones, immediate family from both sides, the officiant and their spouse or partner, and any out-of-town guests who have traveled in for the weekend. Some couples keep it tight — 20 to 30 people — while others open it up to a larger group of close friends and extended family.
There’s no wrong answer, but your guest count will shape almost every other decision you make, from the venue and format to the menu and the overall feel of the evening. Start here before anything else.
Seated Dinner or Cocktail Style?
The format of your rehearsal dinner sets the tone for the evening. A seated dinner feels more intimate and intentional, and is a great fit for smaller guest counts and couples who want the rehearsal dinner to feel distinct from the reception.
A cocktail-style event is more relaxed and free-flowing, and works especially well if your guest list is on the larger side or if you want the evening to feel more like a party than a formal dinner.
Both formats can be elevated with the right menu — and our chefs at Catering St. Louis Events are just as comfortable designing a beautifully coursed seated dinner as they are curating a cocktail spread that keeps guests coming back for more.
Think About the Menu Differently
This is a great opportunity to incorporate dishes that mean something to you as a couple — a nod to where you grew up, a favorite meal from early in your relationship or a cuisine you both love. Our chefs work with couples to create customized menus that fit the occasion, the season and the story behind the celebration.
For a more intimate seated dinner, consider a menu with shared starter plates that encourage conversation right away, followed by a thoughtfully plated entrée and, of course, dessert. For a cocktail-style evening, elevated passed bites and a few well-designed stations can feel just as special without the formality.
Choosing the Right Venue
The rehearsal dinner has its own personality, usually warmer and more personal than the wedding reception, with a little more room to breathe. Your venue should reflect that.
A few things worth considering: How does the space feel for a smaller group? Is there room for toasts without it feeling like a production? Is there an outdoor option for a cocktail hour or mingling before dinner? Does the space allow for that feeling of gathering together rather than being seated in a large, formal room?
Several of our venues at Catering St. Louis Events are particularly well-suited for rehearsal dinners. The Whittemore House at Washington University is one worth a closer look — it was actually commissioned in 1912 as a wedding gift, which gives it a fittingly romantic history. Its warm interiors, private dining spaces and garden terrace make it a natural fit for a more intimate evening. It seats up to 100 for a seated dinner, which works beautifully for most rehearsal dinner guest counts. Oliva on The Hill is another favorite for couples who want something cozy and neighborhood-feel, with high-beamed ceilings and an outdoor terrace right in the heart of St. Louis’ historic Italian neighborhood.
Don’t Forget the Details That Make It Feel Special
A few small touches can go a long way at a rehearsal dinner. A welcome note at each place setting, a slideshow of photos from your relationship, or a signature cocktail named after the two of you adds personality without requiring a lot of extra planning. Toasts tend to be more candid and heartfelt at rehearsal dinners — make sure your venue has a good sound setup so everyone can actually hear them.
Most importantly, give yourself permission to enjoy it. The rehearsal dinner is one of the few moments in the whole wedding weekend where you can slow down, look around and take it all in before the big day arrives.
Let’s Start Planning
At Catering St. Louis Events, we love helping couples design a rehearsal dinner that feels every bit as intentional as the wedding itself. From the menu to the venue to all the details in between, our team is here to make it easy and memorable.
Ready to start the conversation? Reach out to Catering St. Louis Events and let’s plan a rehearsal dinner worth remembering.